So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i out mim tonsoeep
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