Having a random hookup so left but love u
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
