where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
