I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
