I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
please come you make the beer taste better
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
