Yo dont text me then not text me
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
