I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize