I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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