I don't usually arrange sex via text message
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
