cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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