you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
