This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
and you fell through a lawn chair
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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