I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
