they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
