That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
