If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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