i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
are you so shy because you have an std?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
