He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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