I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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