i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
People with herpes should wear stickers.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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