I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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