I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Randomize
