It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
