Just took my morning after pill in the library
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
