do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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