its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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