Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
handjob tips. give me some.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
