I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I looked at my own cervix.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
