Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
