i think my tv is drunk
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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