he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
