I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
