The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
