You can't motorboat a personality
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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