dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
