So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
