No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
