U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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