You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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