does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
