She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
