I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
