I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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