i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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