You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
