he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
