Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
