wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
