idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
