how hairy? two words: wookie tits
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
