Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
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