I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
