Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize