I just made out with a guy for $7.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
