Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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