and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
